I'm X. I'm genderqueer, and a sexual assault survivor. I'm trying to recover. Ex-self harmer Self diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and anxiety. I've been trying to figure out for a long time if it was okay to self diagnose, and I've come to the conclusion that it is. I would really like to see someone for it, but that's just not an option right now. This is my personal recovery blog. Sensitive questions are welcome. Support is much appreciated. (I'm not actively self-harming but just in case) Please don't send me an ask telling me not to hurt myself, take a look at this.

 

http://laurelindoren.tumblr.com/post/92852256158/laurelindoren-im-taking-my-first-student-loan

laurelindoren:

expandandsurvive:

laurelindoren:

I’m taking my first student loan out soon. I was talking to my dad about student debt. I am eligible for the pell grant in it’s entirety. It’s about 5,600 something I believe. It will cover my classes while I’m at community college, but when I go somewhere else I will be lucky…

Well it does in my state. It rises based on cost of tuition.

Yeah my state doesn’t give us anything. I can get more loans as my school tuition goes up.

I need to see how many grants there are outside of the Pell grant. I’m getting frustrated with scholarships because there don’t seem to be any that I would be qualified for. They’re usually for high school kids or people going back to school in their 30s or 40s.

Try going to the financial aid office of the school you want to attend?
California does a pretty okay job at taking care of its college students.

http://laurelindoren.tumblr.com/post/92852256158/laurelindoren-im-taking-my-first-student-loan

laurelindoren:

I’m taking my first student loan out soon. I was talking to my dad about student debt. I am eligible for the pell grant in it’s entirety. It’s about 5,600 something I believe. It will cover my classes while I’m at community college, but when I go somewhere else I will be lucky…

Well it does in my state. It rises based on cost of tuition.

Anonymous asked
Sometimes when there is a potential situation where I could be abused, I freeze totally and start to act almost like I wouldn't care if something happened to me. Or something like that. For example once some old man started to feel my thigh violently when I was at bus, and I couldn't do anything. I just... froze. And when the situation was over and I was in a safer place I just broke down crying.. is.. this normal behavior?

survivorsupport:

I freeze up too. Freezing is normal. You get scared and you’re not sure what to do. The brain “flees” the situation by making you freeze, taking away your options. Sometimes it keeps you safer because fighting back could wind up getting you more hurt in the end. Or fighting back could save you. But freezing is a protective response. 

I would imagine taking a martial arts/self defense class to the point where you get really confident in the movements could be helpful. 

jaclcfrost:

if you ever think my shorts are “too short” i want you to consider the following

  • they are called “shorts”
  • i look great

I just ran into one of my rapists in public. I was at a fast food place. I saw him walk past me, I was in the car, and I bolted. I drove away but not unsafely. But then, after I took my friend home I coasted back by to see who he was with and stuff and almost got caught. It was a stupid thing to do but I wanted to know if it was any of my ex friends. It wasn’t. I would have so much else to deal with if it was. 

Anyway. I’m a little shaken up but it’s not terrible. It’s mostly I’m just still so angry about this. 

My work week is over. I need a nap. School work first though.

gaystray:

do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes

Anonymous asked
Why are there so many words for discrimination? Why can't we just accept that all of us are phonies.

shitrichcollegekidssay:

Holden Caulfield? Why are you following this blog?

Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things- they save you.

Chuck Palahniuk  (via corvidae-and-crossroads)

Sometimes, I am an adult.

So on the advice of my trainer, I’m counting my calories again. Its going well this time. Because I need to make sure I’m eating enough to function at work, and for workouts with my friend, which I enjoy.
So there’s that.
School sucks though.